23 Dec
Wah friday finally arrived.. tml is my booking out day as well as christmas eve kekeke.. Today we had our session quick attack live firing at lim chu kang estate.. thinking of christmas remind me of my few day of romance with rachel 2 yr ago.. when we actually broke up e day b4 christmas arrive.. still can remember e song "last christmas" which played at zouk was quite a memorable one for me lol.. but den again, heaven wasn't unfair to me.. during last yr christmas, i was given a chance to spend it with someone I used to treasure e most.. I still can recall when we patch back on the 1st of Aug 2004, I was at that point of time extremely happy.. Suddenly, colour was brought to my life.. sad to say.. good things doesn't last long enough.. We eventually broke up, become stranger once again.. dun wish to think of e reason why we broke up.. past is sumthing I should forgo now.. eventually e day will come when I will forgive her.. but not forget what happen.. my first relationship with her lasted about near 2 yrs.. when blah blah blah blah happen.. we broke up.. was really sad and disappointed with her at that time.. and 2 yr later, we met up on exam centre which i still remember.. at nee ann sec sch.. coincidently.. just happen my air con spoil a few days later i saw her.. and while looking for my warently card.. just happen to saw those letter which she wrote to me in e past.. e feeling is coming back.. so I decide to msg her a good night msg.. eventually we keep it touch, went out for movie.. chatting session.. b4 we patch back.. ahh still can recall my first question to her when we patch back.. why she blah blah blah me 2 yrs ago.. she reply to me quite sincerly.. saying that she was playful and young at that time.. haiz.. I told her how hurt i was and how long it really took me back to my normal state.. finally i make her promise me one thing.. if one day in e future, if she happen to find out that she doens't love me anymore.. please tell me.. dun do the same thing to me like in e past... she reply me "I wun do it anymore".. haiz.. but history still repeat itself.. recalling back all these.. really make my tear flowing uncontrollably.. Am i sad, disappointed, love or still angry with her? Even till today.. I can't gib myself this answer.. but I am already grateful that fate has brought us back again.. though it didn't really last long.. of course I didn't forget about Micky.. he's so cute.. haiz really miss him alot alot..Tml got SOC test again... just hope I can pass bah lol.. sumtime e worse thing you could have is not loving her sliently.. but dunno whether you are loving or hating her.. the width line between love and hate is just so fine...
