POP in 2 days time..
Last week of bmt is quite terrible.. training schedule so tight.. we walk 40km this week.. taking SOC and IPPT test.. preparing our parade for the pop.. having to stand still there for 45 mins under the hot sun like an idoit while waiting for PM Lee to finish giving out those awards.. and his 15 mins speech...hmm so glad that we could keep some hair.. instead of totally botak head wahaha.. however the sad stuff are leaving our company.. leaving our friends, buddy.. those who have been suffering and enjoying life with you for the past 2 month.. still remember how it is like when we are all enlisted on the first day when we are all stranger... now we are converted to a bunch of buddies but the time is up for us to move on...
During the stupid 45 mins.. what flashes through my mind was my memories of my late grandmother, late 4th uncle, Yue Lin, Bin Bin and Micky... still remember one very very sad moment in my life.. that was during my grandmother bdae.. though I was working at 1.99 shop at that time.. i purposely took a half day off despite the low manpower.. brough her a birdnest and carefully choosen one special box to contain her present.. but but.. when I wanted to pass her the present, she did not open her eye.. reason.. coz she was very very ill at that point of time.. still remember I was so sad.. that in front of so many ppl.. my tears actually keep flowing down.. and thinking of my 4th uncle whom pass away this yr... and in my bg relationship... some of the 'special' moment with yl when we had an agrue in the past when even her friends were beening involed.. the comment some of them pass on.. though those memories are not as painful anymore... still can remember in one of the last meeting up with her.. as usual I will buy her the breakfast.. though she did not eat it that time.. I was only given like 30 mins to sort out the misunderstanding between us.. as she was again meeting her friends.. hmmm the most sad part was when one of her friend has reach her place le.. while she was like trying to rush over to meet up with her and yet haven't finish our conversion.. and at that point of time.. I really really want to give her a simple hug.. a hug... and I could still recall how she push me away from her.. Yes I can understand during that point she was hurt.. but so was I.. and I really wants to save this relationship.. but in the end we broke off... and no reason was given.. If only I have more time to explain to her without her friend interfering.. as I know one of them is trying to sian her as well... Guess that was the worse rejection from someone I love till now..
Next I recall will be Bin Bin.. How she 2 time me over and over again throughout our 2 yrs relationship.. and how I barely manage to really get over it after 1 yr of our breakup.. sometime I ask myself.. which one do I really love more.. yl or bb.. though even me myself cannot come out with a concret answer for this simple question.. still remember how I met her at the exam center at tampines around 2 yrs later.. Yes.. I did not bother to look at her.. as usual I just walk away as if she was a stranger..
Soon after.. we meet up for movies and chatting on phone.. though I also cannot believe why I could stand her... of course... after 2 yrs, the feeling of her 2 timming me wasn't strong as before... still remembering b4 we patch.. I ask her why she 2 time me in the past.. her answer was short and simple.. "I was young then".. okie.. Sometime the power of love was so powerful that could make me really forgive her at that point of time.. At the first hour of patching up.. I told her "One day.. if you dun love me anymore.. please let me know.. and I will leave you.. dun be like what u did to me in the past ok?" Ok was what she promise me.. But but.. 8 month later.. when I discover her internet aiai accidently.. she did not give me an answer.. just keep on crying.. though in my mind I know this relationship is pointless.. really pointless to maintain anymore.. b4 I open her door.. she was standing there.. holding my hands.. asking me not to go.. gib her the chance to explain.. in the end I try to put these issue aside.. soon...... she lied to me again.. this time with an NUS student.. going to her house... she tell me she was only helping his dog to bath.. haiz.. sometime I really think I dun understand woman well... when they are good to you.. they are really good.. when they are going to betray you.. all sort of funny funny excuses will start poping out over and over again...
Is 2 timing really that great? really that proud whereby you can show off to your friends? or is it consider an achievement in ur life lol.. But at least during this breakup.. I reliease I have change.. I am not sad anymore.. actually I am quite pleased.. at least b4 my ns.. I could finish settle my problem in relationship with that lady.. I did not hate her that much as compare to the past.. Once bitten twice shy.. think I dunno got bitten how many time already.. yet still willing to be bitten again ... just like what jia hui told us before.. If I tell u there is an wall in front of you.. but yet you still choose to knock your head against it.. so it's just another wrong decision I had made 9 month ago.. the idea of patching up with her.. lol.. how stupid was I during that point of time to actually believe that she will change for me...
Last but not least... Micky was the one that keep on flashing across my mind.. Yes.. I really miss him alot alot.. how I wish I could carry him rite now.. bringing him for a walk in the morning around my void deck.. having him following me around the house.. playing with him.. feeding him.. clearing his waste lolz.. and how he keep on barking when I was playing game in the room without him lolz... That something hard to believe when I tell my friend that.. coz as they know.. I am afraid of dogs.. But Micky is not just any dog.. He will always always be my precious... Precious bao bei... kor kor wish that your current owner will really take good care of you.. may you grow up happily.. Y_Y
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